Colonel Ram Found Up a Tree after Jailbreak: Sinhaloids Followed Stench Trail, Leading To Re-Arrest

[TamilNet, Saturday, 26 December 2009, 03:30 GMT]

Colonel Ram was recently re-arrested by the Sinhaloids after he broke out of jail, where he had been singing and eating well, and attempted the Eelamic version of The Great Escape.

Colonel Ram managed to escape from jail after knocking a prison guard unconscious with his extra-strong thalathel smell. He ran away to a nearby village where he hoped to sprout wings and fly off to safety far away from the Demonic Sinhaloid Yakkas who were making him sing.

However, he was drawn to a house by a very inviting aroma and stuck his hand inside a jar of biscuits because, you know, really smart people who escape from jail waste time munching on cookies. When the lady of the house, who was obviously a Sinhaloid racist, screamed her head off, our heroic Colonel Ram made a tactical withdrawal™ and did the marathon up a coconut tree in a bid to escape the Sinhaloids who were after him. Unfortunately for him, the Sinhaloids easily picked up the stench trail that was wafting in the air behind him and re-arrested the fugitive.

This is the same Colonel Ram who was reputed to have been hiding in the eastern jungles after Thalaivar was sent to Eelam in the sky. Jolly old KP anna even said that he was in contact with Colonel Ram, who had 2000 armed donkey cadres ready to launch Eelam War 5 on his command. As you can see, things have totally gone according to plan: KP was RENDITION GENOCIDED™ and brought to Sri Lanka while Colonel Ram had actually surrendered to the Sinhaloids ages ago and was chatting to KP anna while in their custody, thus giving KP anna the impression that the totally bad-ass Colonel Ram was ready for action while the Sinhaloids quietly traced his location. Both Ram and KP are currently eating well in Colombo and singing like rock stars on Eelam Idol.